You’ve heard me talk multiple times about FTK (For The Kids) with childhood cancer and how we’re helping them by raising money! We’ve been given the opportunity to where anyone can use there multiple email accounts and sign up for a MyEdu account.

It does not spam you or anything. All you have to do is click on the picture below which takes you to the page, sign up and confirm the email that comes to you and that’s it!

FTK will then gain $1!

If you’re a student, it’s very helpful in getting all your college stuff together.

Please, please, please help! It’s For The Kids! With cancer!

And if possible, please help spread the word.



I’ve lost all focus since I’ve gotten back from THON. Which is weird because it should be the other way around.

Lost focus with people, school, FTK, FSA, etc. Is it sad, last night I just realized I have a test on Thursday? Mmm … yes. It’s gotten that bad. Hi Test, I’m not ready for you, obviously.

I wish I was a great songwriter so I can just drop out and do that for the rest of my life.

I’ve been having a hard time keeping food down again. All the “symptoms” are showing again and it’s annoying the heck out of me because it’s uncontrollable. I’ve never talked about it but one day, maybe I will. Once it starts, it’s hard to stop. Just for now all I can tell you is I promise I’m trying hard to stop, scout’s honor.

Well, God knows you’re barely standing
But you’ve got to carry this heavy load.

Busy Weekend


I woke up late yesterday to the 5k Diploma Dash. I brushed my teeth and jumped on Jenny’s bed so she could take me. I made it in time!! And walked the 5k in less than an hour. I had shin splints so doing it in 56 minutes wasn’t bad to me. I beat other people younger than me who walked it in more than 1 hour. Next time I will run the 5k in October in Houston. At least that’s the plan.


I went to basketball practice but change of plans made practice into scrimmages. Leah wasn’t going to come to practice but she was watching some kid show (up above) with her nephew and her words exactly, “This is what made me come …” long pause “… to basketball practice.” Which made me laugh so loud. Love her.

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Leah and I waited too long to get our scrimmage on so we left with Eric T. and Gerald. Said bye to Leah and the rest of us went and ate Pho on Bitters. It was delicious. Especially on such a windy day. We had lots of laughter and giggles. A lot of inside jokes and I got to know them better. It was fun and it was more amazing because Gerald drove instead of me. I hate driving!

I went home to relax then went to Flying Saucer with Amanda, Brent, and Jenny. What was suppose to be a date with Amanda and I became a double … in a way. I didn’t mind it though. The more the merrier.

I caught up with Amanda about stuff going on with her and stuff going on with me. Brent and Amanda gave me some advice which kind of made me feel better but at the same time, not so much.

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Jenny got the Texas sample beers. YuM! I think I want to do that next time I go just so I can try everything.

We bumped into Travis at Flying Saucer earlier and he said he was going to come over whenever we got home. And so he did. We hung out and talked and looked at funny pictures online.

First time in my life I was so tired that I kept closing my eyes. So we called it a night.

Woke up early working on things then went to Football Practice for a few hours. I am so tired out.

Jenny and I just got back from Fish City Grill. Sad we couldn’t get crawfish but next time. Next time. Open-mouthed smile

Soccer Game in one hour and thirty minutes. Let’s go! Winking smile

I Wish You Said Something Mean

I was told I am selfless. In where I can give up something I like so much so that it makes other people happy. In which I replied, but is that a good thing? That’s a question I’ve been pondering for a lifetime.

I opened my Google Reader for the first time since four days ago … 1000+ unread. Whoops. I’m slowly making my way through it all! So if you see me commenting on something old, that’s why.


Great song by a great singer. Lyrics are a little too spot on sometimes. She’s so gorgeous. Check her out. Smile

My friend, Nicole, got engaged tonight. So happy for her. It seems everyone’s finding their one. Cannot wait to hear the story and details! This is going to be so exciting!!

Tomorrow’s the 5k Diploma Dash. I’m not running it though with my shin splints, I don’t think it’s a good idea. I will walk it though! Open-mouthed smile Sadly I don’t think this counts as doing a 5k in my bucket list. Sad smile Next time, next time!

Time to get ready for bed. Nighty night!

My Life Is A Broom


Found this gear at the FTK room. Why was it there? No one knows. But it’s funny. Open-mouthed smile

Today on the way home, a friend of mine said that in fourth grade he asked a girl to the prom (because they have proms at that age?) and she said she couldn’t go with him because “He looks like toasted bread.” Meaning he was a dark Mexican. So funny. My other friend who was in the car at the time rolled on the floor laughing when we reminisced about it.


My Life Is A Broom. Or so my friend Shayna says. Like her artistic skills? If I could even start to explain. You would think triangles were confusing … just look at this broom.

I’m off to watch The Blind Side. Time to cry.

Tomorrow’s another long day. And having to face certain people will be hard. Here we go.

Hope your Friday goes well! Smile

Think Good Thoughts: Living

FTK Co-Rec Soccer is in the Playoffs and we won our game tonight! Whoop! Smile I played a little bit but with shin splints and all it was hard so I was sad but we did great!

And now onto Thankful Thursday!

I’m thankful I got to go to THON. I got to see things that not many people have a chance to see. I am hoping I can go next year to relive it again. Fingers crossed! I probably can’t go with the group again since I would have graduated but maybe a reunion or something?

I am thankful I am alive. I tend to think about a lot of things when I drive. Most of the time when I’m quiet, I’m thinking about something. Driving or not. Good or bad. I drove to a lot of places today that gave me time to think that I almost got into, give or take, 5-7 car accidents. I actually rammed into a stone wall while backing out tonight after taking someone home. Yes, it was that bad.

I’m thankful I have friends like Shayna and Patrica. I’m sitting in their living room watching the telly and typing this out while they are asleep. Yes, another schedule post written in the past! We had a girl’s night. Much needed for all of us. We drank wine and watched Criminal Minds so I could stop thinking about everything while I worked on some FTK stuff … of course. I’m not able to tell them all the little details of things but I’m able to tell the gist since they were kind of there for everything.

I’m thankful for my FSA big, Rex. I bumped into him in the halls today and he knew something was wrong because I wasn’t smiling for the first time. I didn’t tell him anything and insisted I was not sad. But with his hug, tears welled in my eyes. There are so many people who are there for me when I least expect it, yet I’m never able to open up.

I am thankful for my siblings. Given I don’t tell them anything that goes on with me but if I get a text or a message on Facebook, just seeing it makes my day. Especially when they send me cute pictures of their doggies, aka my nephews. I cannot wait too meet my newest nephew! I’m not sure if they decided to change his name or not but he’s two years old. Sissy, Brett, and Ross got him at the pound.

There are other things I’m thankful for of course. The list can go on. But right now, those are what holds dear to my heart.

I hope everyone has a Thankful Thursday! Think of all the good that you have and the bad will slowly disappear, hopefully.

Just A Little Bit Stronger

Did you ever felt so hurt that your heart is in pain? I’m pretty numb about everything but for some reason today, talking to various people, I realized that it’s possible with everything that happened. I was asked why I don’t open up and I don’t understand how he can’t see the reason when it was all around us. At the end of all of this, I will be stronger. Just when I thought I was able to start opening up and letting my wall down, someone had to come and make me build my wall up even higher.

I wanted a guy’s point of view of things that were going on so I texted Travis, “I need someone to converse with if possible”. This was at 11:30pm, when he usually studies. Next thing I know he was on Facebook Chat. Then at my door when he realized this was a face-to-face conversation. We talked for a little over 2 hours. Given we talked about random things at times, he was able to give me opinions about the situation and about the people involved. It’s nice to know he’ll kick someone’s ass if I ever ask for it. Brother Bear to the rescue. He has class at 7:30am and he stayed up talking to me. That’s a real friend. And I hope I’ll never lose him.

Woke up late today and I still feel the sting of the pain,
But I brushed my teeth anyway.
I got dressed through the mess and put a smile on my face.
I got a little bit stronger.

Because of all of this, I didn’t want to come home. I didn’t want to deal with anything. But of course, life goes on. And it’s just another thing we have to learn from. No more emo posts for a while after this. I just needed to get it out.

Penn State brought me and a friend even closer than before. While driving her home and talking, she was able to share something that she’s only shared with one other person here at UTSA. That means a lot to me. It made me understand why she is how she is. And for her to trust me with that information … indescribable feeling.

I hope everyone’s having a good week! It’s hump day! We’re halfway there! Smile

Penn State: Day 5

Time to head home.

But before home, where else would we go for breakfast but to The Corner?

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We headed back to the hotel. Finished packing. Then went on our 3+ hour bus ride to Baltimore Airport. Where we had lunch and then we waited for 2+ hour before boarding our airplane.

Funny story: I thought I lost my ticket so when I got to the table, the lady told me I had to find it or buy another ticket. I freaked out, everyone called our advisors, and in the end … I found my ticket. And then the lady said it was a joke and she could of fixed it for us. Jerk much? Anyway, I got made fun of the rest of the trip which I don’t mind because it was a little funny and I feel a whole lot of stupid.

We were on the plane for a good 1+ hour until we landed in the Tennessee Airport. Waited for people to board on and then we went on our 2+ hour trip to San Antonio.

Coming back was a relief. I was so tired sitting down. But now I’m so tired all around.

Going on this trip was a privilege not many people have. If you ever get the chance, I advise you to go and have fun! It’s seriously a great experience and it will change your life.

I didn’t want to come home because things up there were simpler. And let’s not forget, not having to study was a plus though maybe I should have. I also didn’t want to come back because of some things that I’m scared about and that now I have to take care of.

It’s been a great trip and I wouldn’t of had it any other way. Some of the people I went with are amazing. They love and live for things like this. I’ve made new memories and bonded closer to some friends. Unforgettable.

We are young.
So let’s set this world on fire.
We can burn brighter,
Than the sun.

Penn State: Day 4

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We went back to The Corner for breakfast. Nom! This place is so good.


This was the last few hours before the reveal of how much money they raised For The Kids this year. There was no open seats at the BJC. Look how gorgeous the sea of color is!


And look how much they raised! $10.6 million. Sheesh! It’s unbelievable how much people can do when they band together.

To be there … to feel the crowd. You can’t even explain it.

We all went to:

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The Allen Street Grill
100 West College Ave
State College, Pennsylvania
(814) 231-4745

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Free bread and butter. So delicious.

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Pesto Chicken [grilled chicken breasts topped with spinach and pine nut pesto, finished in the oven and served with garlic whipped potatoes and steamed vegetables] | $14.95

This place is pricey but I was full after eating all of that. The chicken was a bit dry though and the vegetables weren’t cooked all the way. To fix that, I dunked them in ketchup and everything tasted better. Winking smile

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Marisol and I went to Starbucks then went to the Hotel Lobby and wrote a song for Andy. It was fun and it’s definitely a memory that will last forever.

Last day, Day 5. Keep a lookout.

Penn State: Day 3

For breakfast we went to:

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The Waffle Shop
1610 West College Ave
State College, Pennsylvania
(814) 235-1816

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Belgian Waffle with four sausage links [golden brown, light and airy, the one and only] | $6.95 One Egg | $0.95 Our Own Famous Home Fries | $1.95

The waffle bland but still delicious nonetheless. I ate it with my ketchup. Like usual. The food was not bad at all but it was very greasy and made my stomach feel disgusting afterward.


Which was not a good idea at all because it was time for the THON 2012 Tour.


We got to go down on the dance floor and see everything from the dancers’ point of view. I didn’t want to leave. So much excitement!

My friend is a Hospitality Captain and was working on the dance floor during this time but sadly, with all the people, I wasn’t able to see her. Sad smile


We went to the dancer alley and saw such inspiration. The dancers get to see who they do it for. There were so many down the hall. But it makes sure the dancers get pumped up enough.


We also got to see where the captains hang out. They have designated sleeping times and rooms. Just look at that spreadsheet. It’s crazy how everything is done. The person’s name is even on there so if you miss your time, you don’t get to sleep.


We took a few pictures with some Star Wars characters. Smile

A few of us went to:

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Jersey Mike’s Subs
4123 Washington Road
McMurray, Pennsylvania
(724) 942-0202


Grilled Veggie Wrap [grilled peppers and onions, melted swiss and provolone, lettuce, tomato, and home-style ranch dressing] | $6.45

I got it to go so that we could head back to the hotel and get an hour and a half rest time before having to head back.

It was very delicious but I wished they didn’t drench it with dressing. It was slimy sticky!


We headed back at 6pm for the 10pm Pep Rally session. But before that began, they got us doing some Yoga so everyone can stretch out. They think of EVERYTHING!

It’s amazing how much spirit Penn State has. I mean, I know they are a big school and it’s been established. But standing there in that Center, you feel like you are a part of them. Freaky to say but I did do one of their chants. I’m an imposter.

I don’t even remember what we did that night. I think we just sat around and chilled since we were so tired.

Day 4 … coming up next.