What I Realized On My Drive Home …

I had a great time catching up with some of my friends. Seeing them and getting to just be there was a blessing.

Sadly I didn’t get to see everyone. I had to give up seeing some people whether I wanted to or not. If I had the chance to go back I would have said “Fu*k it” and went with my gut even if it meant being scared and awkward … let me explain.

While driving back from S.A., I realized I miss having one of my friendships. Given at the time we only knew each other for a good few months, he was one of my best guy friends. For some reason it just felt normal and right to tell him everything about me … almost everything. Some stupid Melissa moments happened and we didn’t get to the part where if I told him some things he would understand so much more. You know how it is. Fear got in the way. If I had the chance for a redo, I would. Keep those stupid Melissa moments to myself so I could keep that friendship. He invited me to go to his party Saturday night but got scared because I don’t know who was going to be there and if it was going to be awkward. Ride issues as well. Other than him sending me a few songs here and there (which I always for some reason love because he picks some good songs) we don’t talk like we use to. If possible, I would like to have that friendship again but I’m not sure how to tell him or how he feels. Maybe I could of done so if I went to the party but now it’s too late. I’m pondering and pondering about it but I think I will be doing it soon. Rather know if he wants to still be friends then sit and wonder, right?

He has my blog but I’m certain he doesn’t read it anymore. Only reason I have the balls to write this on here.

A reminder to myself to never give up on a friendship or anything for that matter because of fear. You will regret it.

I hope you all had a good weekend!

Tomorrow I have to go to training instead of work. Yippee. Hopefully it’s not boring.

4 thoughts on “What I Realized On My Drive Home …

  1. Honey- I hear you with the fear. Recently my best friend and I (we use to be roommates) have started the new semester in different living situations and sadly we hardly talk/see each other. However, I think there is more to the story than just living arrangements. I think another friend of ours (one that is not a huge fan of me) has poisoned her- causing her to not want to hear or speak to me.I mean we chat and its nice- but I feel like were strangers. Everyday I want to say something- to ask her if she realizes the distance. But insteead I sit pondering too if our friendship will ever be the same.

    I think one day the situation will present itself and clarity will become certain- but its just really hard to sit and feel something missing. 😦 I think you should talk to your friend. I wish I had done so sooner because now that so much time has passed, I feel like its a lost cause. Were here for you!

    • Eeep I’m here for you too!! I know how that feels!! It’s been 7 or so months since we last really talked … not for the same reasons as yours though. Mine was more boy girl like haha if that makes sense. But friendship means more to me then that so I’m hoping slow and steady wins the race. hehe Thanks for your comment! It meant a lot!!

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