Forever Alone

Isn’t it sad how I can sit here writing a card to this boy for his birthday and all I can do is get teary eyed teardrops in my eyes because it brings back memories. Good and bad memories.

Pisses me off because it fogs up my eyesight and then I cannot see what I’m writing anymore. Ugh. Stop being a crybaby, Melissa!

I realized that he has made a difference in my life even though we’ve only known each other for a little over half a year. And now because of the distance, I lost my person to lean on. But no matter how much I wish things could be different between us, it won’t ever be because we’re both too shy to speak up. Or at least, that’s what I think it is. That or maybe he’s not a fan of long distance. Who knows.

Anyway, I have his gift ready to go! And when I go visit SA at the end of the month, I’ll stick it in his hands and make a run for it. It’s awkward for me when people open their gifts I give them in front of me.

And it’ll be awkward when they read that card where all I do is praise him. haha


We’re celebrating Father’s Day today since my sissy has work Sunday. Update on that later.

Happy Saturday!


A few of my family friends are doing the Color Run in Austin. I am jealous. I wanted to sign up but no one wanted to do it with me. And now it’s too late. Sad smile Who wants to do it with me next time? I will supply you your white tee!

I’ve been eating three meals a day instead of one. Cleaning out the fridge. Not wasting money. Feels gooooood. I wish I had someone to cook for though. I need a man with a stomach who loves to eat and try new things. He can complain how disgusting it tastes as long as he finishes his plate. Winking smile

A friend of mine always writes about a boy she wants to get with on her Facebook statuses … which annoys me because it doesn’t make her look good and she’s a really nice girl. Especially when other guys find her attractive, but then they see that and get turned off. I don’t understand girls nowadays.

I’ve been told I have to put myself out there more but no matter how I try, it’s not me. I’ll always be the girl with the wall up until the guy breaks the wall down. Might take a while, but that’s when you know the guy is worthwhile.

When I see you.
When I converse with you.
My days are complete.
But it never seems to be enough.
I’m happy if you’re happy.
That’s all I can hope for.